I was in the temple in Bangkok, resided by this writing when looked around.

some writings on the temple’s wall

‘Walking meditation generally entails a walk on straight path, back and forth, covering a distance not exceeding 3 metres. While walking, sati (mindfullness) has control over the bodily pose so that one is constantly aware of what is presently occuring. This can be by mean of speaking softly or thinking to oneself while keeping pace with the physical action as it happens and not speaking or thinking ahead of or after it. As such, walking meditation is a form of mental practice that helps speed up the attainment of samacihi (concentration) and awareness of the present.’

So I walked slowly, was feeling my foot on the floor, my breath came up and down lazyness. I had a problem before, could not sleep well and always falling asleep in meditation class. I was ashamed of it, but could not do anything.

Then, I found something, and write it in bahasa Indonesia.

“‎Mencemaskan masa depan itu membuang tenaga, menyesali masa lalu menyia-nyiakan waktu, dan terlalu berhati-hati menjalani hidup saat ini akan mengundang penyakit. Mari berani melakukan kesalahan.”

If we were too worried about the future, we could lose our power. If we regretted our past, we were wasting our time. And if we were afraid to make mistakes in  present, we would  invite diseases. So, let’s make mistakes.

I don’t care if people agree with me or not. I remember what Pee Nan Jim, an 18 years ex-monk told me. “If you can control your mind, so you can control your action. It means you control your destiny.” And, I want to control my life easily and enjoyable.

NB. I’ve already written the long version about meditative journey, but I thought it over and over again before decided not to post here. Like my friend said to me, “You are a quiet and queer Indonesian lady :))”